Our ‘short term self’ is often in competition with our ‘long term self’ especially when it comes to what we perceive as our needs and interests and how we communicate these in mediation. What do I mean by this? Our
There are many ways to manage controlling behaviour but the key, as always, is to first assess the type of controlling behaviour you are seeing and experiencing, before deciding how to respond; What I call the ‘lense and lever’ approach,
Introduction As with most behaviour, ‘controlling behaviours’ follow a pattern which clearly reveals itself if you know what you are looking at and looking for. “Coercive or controlling behaviour does not relate to a single incident, it is a purposeful
Feeling manipulated can make you feel very uneasy. Why is that? Well, the uneasiness often stems from feeling that you are being encouraged to engage in doing something ‘immoral’ and against ‘ your better judgement’ such as cheating. In society,
Stress triggers can seriously undermine the success of mediation and any ongoing relationship. Next time your former partner or spouse’s behaviour causes your blood to boil and you can feel yourself quickly losing control do these 7 things; Take control:
In so many mediations I ask couples what they need from each other to be met with an exchange of accusation/counter accusation, blame/counter blame for why things have not happened as they have wanted things to happen. Blaming is of
9 KEY PRE-MEDIATION INFORMATION AND ASSESSMENT QUESTIONS Start with broad open questions allowing the client to lead you to and emphasise the things most important to them within the framework you set by your questions, as you listen with a
What determines whether conflict often associated with separation and divorce—a pervasive and naturally occurring event—moves in a constructive or destructive direction? Constructive conflicts are defined as those which result in mutually satisfactory experiences of the processes, relationships and outcomes associated with the
Conflict is inherent in virtually every aspect of human relations, from sport to parliamentary democracy, from economic activity to intimate relationships. Yet, it can become among the most serious social problem humans face when it loses its constructive features and
When someone as senior as Lord Justice Munby talks about taking Judges and the court out of the divorce process, it is time for us all to sit up and listening, if we have not be listening already. Outside, the
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