Coaching for separated families
"Supporting you to separate together"
Separation and divorce coaching services
This may be your first separation and divorce, and everything feels very unfamiliar.
The trust and communication may have broken down between you and your former partner
You may be worried about making mistakes, not knowing where to go or who to see for information and advice.
You may be feeling isolated, concerned about your future and powerless, in so many ways.
Our Divorce Coaches are all qualified and experienced to support and guide you through your separation divorce journey, working with you alongside the mediation process, as part of your mediation support team, helping you to make the best possible decisions for your future, at every stage.
Our Divorce Coaches all specialise in supporting you through each of the 6 stages of the mediation process which begins with creating a coaching relationship with you, built on absolute trust which forms the foundation of your work together.
If you are using our Divorce Manual your coach will guide you through it, helping you to use and apply the information, referring you to other experts and helping you to work with them, as part of a cohesive separation and divorce mediation team.
They will help you to develop and use strategies and skills to maximise the chances of achieving outcomes in mediation with your former partner which meet as many value-based priorities (needs and interests) as possible (‘successful outcomes’) whether these relate to financial or child-centred outcomes.
Have a look at the services your coaches offer and either contact us through this website or speak to the mediator you are working with, and they will help you to arrange an initial free consultation with one of our coaches.
Your Divorce Coach will help and support you in the 4 following key areas.
Helping you to obtain a no-fault divorce in a collaborative way with your former partner, keeping your costs to a minimum.
Your Divorce Coach acts as your guide to our Divorce Manual, helping you to make informed decisions about the divorce process.
The no-fault divorce process can be completed online (preferred route) or in paper form.
You can make the application yourself or jointly, with your former partner.
Using the Divorce Coach and the divorce chapter in our Divorce Manual, the process should not cost you and your former partner any more than the court fee, which is currently £594 (2022)
If the mediator or your divorce coach recommend that you use a solicitor they will also recommend a suitable solicitor who is experienced at supporting you to make your own decisions and get the most out of the mediation process.
Please read the chapter in the Divorce Manual- Solicitor supported mediation
Helping you to present your ‘best selves’ in mediation when it comes to making joint decisions and reaching successful outcomes for yourselves and your children.
Your Divorce Coach can help you to prepare to communicate with your former partner in and outside mediation. Please have a look at our Relationship support team page.
- Develop your self-awareness, broaden your perspectives and develop insights from which to develop a better understanding of your situation and others with whom you may be in conflict, empowering you to work in more constructive outcome-solution focused ways (We all have to manage assumptions, beliefs and Biases).
- Identify, clarify and articulate priorities, aligned with your values, so that you are able to articulate these and reach decisions and mediated outcomes built upon value-based priorities.
- Identify and clarify beliefs (and biases) that you may have about yourself, the situation and others with whom you may be in conflict, so that you can decide whether and how these might be positively serving you, or not (critical self-reflection) and what to do about them.
- Improve your communication with your former partner to maximise the chances of reaching successful outcomes with them in and outside mediation, whether this relates to reaching financial outcomes or creating parenting plans together, for example.
- Develop and maintain a curious, flexible mindset and approach to communicating with your former partner so that, for example, you develop the habit of being able to consider a broad range of options and perspectives, on your way to reaching successful mediated outcomes.
- Develop the skill and habit of maintaining an outcome-solution focused mindset and approach to your separation, minimising any tendency to focus on the separation and divorce ‘story’
- Develop and maintain a humble, empathic, curious state of mind and listening approach to decision making with your former partner, humble in your acceptance that you may not have all the answers and empathically curious about their views and experiences which may be very different to your own and influencing the decision-making process.
- Develop your resilience and capacity to cope with challenging emotions you may be experiencing in your current situation which are affecting your mental and physical well-being, as well as supporting your former partner to manage their emotional states.
- Develop strategies and skills to carefully and safely manage your former partner’s behaviour which you are finding challenging including behaviours of a controlling and abusive nature, ensuring that you feel heard and understood.
This list is not of course exhaustive but hopefully gives you a good sense of how useful a Divorce Coach can help you to build your confidence, commitment and capacity to manage the challenges facing you during your separation and the mediation process.
Helping you to prepare for and work successfully through the financial mediation process, making important joint decisions and reaching successful financial outcomes, with your former partner.
Your Divorce Coach can help you to work with the mediator, your solicitor and any financial experts you may require. Please look at our financial support team page
Mediation
Your coach can help you to maintain a clear, focused, solution outcome mindset and approach when it comes to preparing for and working with the mediator and your former partner in mediation, helping you to reach fair financial outcomes, in the most cost-effective way.
In some of the most difficult cases, where it is agreed by all participants and carefully managed, your coach can also attend mediation to support you, in a variety of ways.
Legal
If you have a solicitor representing you, your coach can help to prepare you for your meetings with the solicitor so that you are clear about your agenda and priorities for the meeting, the questions you need to ask, and what you are hoping to achieve from the meeting, making the most of your time with your solicitor and keeping your costs carefully managed.
Financial
Some of our coaches are also financial experts and able to work with you as you use mediation to reach fair financial decisions and outcomes with your former partner. Please have a look at our financial experts’ services and team pages.
Among other things, they can help you put together your financial disclosure documents for mediation (using the relevant Divorce Manual chapters relating to reaching your own financial and maintenance agreements).
If the mediator, you and your former partner decide that a particular financial expert (Financial adviser, Accountant, Pension expert, Property values, Mortgage, Wills/Trust, Conveyancing, Employment) is required to enable you to reach a fully informed fair outcome, your coach can help you to work collaboratively with the financial expert, in the most efficient and effective way, implementing decisions you and your former partner make in mediation, helping to keep any animosity and stress to a minimum.
Helping and supporting you and your former partner, individually (or together, in some cases) before, during and in between mediation sessions, to communicate and develop a parenting plan that works for both parents and your children.
Your Divorce Coach can work with you and your former partner individually (or together, in some cases) supporting you to work together as a ‘co-parenting unit’. Please have a look at our Parents and Children team page
- Acting as your guide to the relevant communication and parenting chapters of the Divorce Manual and other important resources, helping you to make the most of these.
- Signposting you to the most appropriate parenting and communication programmes and tools (provided by various agencies) to meet your specific needs and the challenges of your situation.
- Helping you and your former partner, working with you individually and together, to maximise on lessons learned from any parenting programme(s) you have (both) attended, information you have been signposted to and any tools you are using, to improve communication and construct a successful Parenting plan.
If you and your former partner are working with one of our Child support team to ensure that your children’s wishes and feelings are included in the mediation process your Divorce coach can help you to prepare for your meeting with the child expert, helping you to be clear about the ‘child inclusive process’ and any questions you may need to ask.
Find out about our Divorce Manual
All the online divorce resources you will need for your divorce.