Often a parent will say that they would rather the court dictate their children’s arrangements; as they believe that a legally binding order will mean that arrangements will be kept to, and that they will get the outcome they want.

Firstly, family courts are discouraged from making children’s arrangements wherever possible. They will only make an order where all else has failed and will often suggest that parents reach their own arrangements through mediation.

Secondly, research has shown that parents are far more likely to stick to arrangements made in mediation than those made by the court, despite the court order being legally binding.

The reasons behind these findings are that couples can make flexible but structured child contact arrangements with the help of a mediator that reflect their own unique situations. Sometimes contact between parent and child can break down for a period of time, with misunderstandings and frustration for both parents and communication can become strained or impossible. Mediation offers an opportunity to discuss areas of difficulty that may have arisen and to find a constructive way forward.

Modern family life is a complex affair, with extended families, step brothers/sisters/parents, flexible working hours, parents living varying distances apart…the list goes on. The outcome of mediation rests in the hands of the participants, the outcome of a court order rests in the hands of a judge and does not necessarily meet the interests of those involved which is why they are more likely to break down.