Attend a MIAM (mediation information and assessment meeting) as early as possible.

People often attend a MIAM far too late, having painfully discovered, after many months and £1000’s in legal costs, that the approach they have chosen has not worked.

As a former Solicitor, I never had the opportunity to examine in depth the ‘other person’s’ perception of ‘the problem’ and their needs. I had to rely on working collaboratively with the other Solicitor, if this was possible.

As the Mediator, when I speak to the separated couple, individually, I often discover quite quickly that there is a deep and rather destructive misunderstanding of each other’s Needs and what is ‘really’ driving the conflict they are stuck on.

Interestingly, it is often not what they say they are stuck, such as a complaint about one person not engaging in the financial disclosure process, which is the ‘real’ or underlying reasons for the ‘stuckness’ and it is only by helping them to uncover and address the ‘real’reasons, that I can help them to make progress.

As mediators, from the first time we meet our client, among other things, we adopt a personalised, needs-led approach, identifying early on what each person and their children are ‘feeling and needing’.

Only by clearly identifying this full range of Needs and ideally having these confirmed by the clients can we, the Mediators, begin to put in place the support required from us, other professionals, the processes and resources available, to meet their needs- Mediation Teaming

The earlier I see my clients following their separation, and not when they are completely stuck, the quicker and more effectively I can begin to support them, to meet their own, each other and children’s needs, from a practical, financial, emotional and psychological perspective.

Speak to a Mediator asap