I recently worked with a couple over two sessions in mediation to help them reach a a successful financial outcome .

They had both come to me saying in their MIAMs that they wanted to go to court because so far they had got nowhere, they had already spent quite a bit on solicitors fees and the process had become very polarised and positional. They both felt stuck and powerless.

It was a relatively short marriage of 4 years in which the vast majority of the assets (The house) had been paid for by one of them. There was no mortgage and the house was in joint names.

For this reason, the ‘source of the wealth’ became relevant to their mediated conversation and they both had different views about this.

One of them argued for equality of division of the ‘net equity in the house’ regardless of how much they needed to rehouse themselves

The other argued that an equal division would not do justice (or feel fair to them) and was not needed by the other person to house themselves if they used the borrowing capacity available to them.

With my ‘evaluative’ mediators hat on and with their permission I briefly explained (as decided in WC v HC and N v F) that the ‘source of the wealth’ can be relevant when considering the question of and extent of Need and the assessment of how much was ‘reasonably’ needed to provide ‘suitable housing’, taking into account all the circumstances, including borrowing capacities, length of marriage etc.

The following ‘accountability’ question quickly opened up ‘minds’, leading to a more open, honest discussion which led to a successful outcome in two mediation sessions saving this couple many £1000 of in legal fees and possible court proceedings

Question:

Are you both willing to explore whether it might be possible to (stretch resources to) meet housing needs (buy a suitable property) whilst reflecting the ‘source of the resources’ in your thinking and the outcome you reach, without prejudging or predicting at this stage the final capital division ?

With a resounding and committed yes from both of them I was able to work with their new motivation and desire to work this out together, empowering and enabling them both to actively and constructively engage and participate in an accountable decision making dialogue and process, exploring a wide range of options and perspectives, in a creative and imaginative with, with my support.

I feel that many more separating couples could be doing the same thing and avoid a lot of heart ache and costs.