It would seem that many of us will now be primarily confined to our homes for some time to come and some of us, in very difficult personal circumstances, having decided to separate or having separated from a former partner, and often with important and often urgent things to sort out, such as child arrangements and finances.
As a family mediator and former solicitor, many of my clients are asking me whether I and our Compass Resolution mediators can help them do all this online, rather than through face-to-face meetings.
My simple answer is, ‘yes, absolutely!’
For most separations, it is perfectly possible to carry out a successful mediation and help separating couples sort out every aspect of their separation and to do all this online, with the right information, preparation and support.
Every person of course approaches working together online with their former partner and the mediator with different amounts of experience and confidence.
A key part of our jobs as mediators is to ensure that each person feels confident enough and sufficiently enabled to work effectively and efficiently online, with their former partner and the mediator.
With this in mind, I ascertain from each person I am going to work with online what experience they already have, working online, what equipment and software that are used to working with and, among other things, the quality of communication between them and a former partner.
As well as the usual one-on-one confidential pre-mediation consultation I have with each person I also offer an opportunity to experience online communication with me and their former partner during a short free mediation online joint meeting.
I find that this gives each person the confidence that, when mediation starts, their equipment is going to work properly for them and they have a clear idea about how it is all going to look and feel.
What I find is that once each person has had a good opportunity to discuss their situation with me in the one-on-one pre-mediation confidential meeting and the chance to experience ‘going online’ with me and their former partner for a short meeting a day or so before mediation starts, they quickly become more confidence in their ability to express themselves, their views, priorities and concerns through the camera and are ready to proceed to mediation.
It is then my job to manage the online conversations, providing a framework and structure within which to develop these conversations and help the separated couple to construct agreements around their child arrangements and financial matters and reach good outcomes.
I have found that over the years, and definitely more recently as my online practice has grown, the separated couples I have worked with, given the right opportunity and support, are very capable of working together with me in a constructive and productive way, online.
I can even see that, once the coronavirus has been beaten and we all return to a more ‘normal way of living’, online mediation will have become more popular and here to stay, which will not such a bad thing.
After all, online mediation enables people to work from the comfort of their own home, in their own environment, perhaps with their favourite beverage in hand, where they are likely to feel less apprehensive and able to think more clearly, which is essential for a successful mediation.