How can Family Mediation help parents to reach best outcomes for their children during the painful separation or divorce and remain child focussed.  

Sadly, thousands of people are still divorcing each year and the pain of separation or divorcing can be extremely difficult for parents but it does not normally end their responsibility as parent. 

Although the parents are going through the painful feelings of separation their children need the continuing affection and support from both parents. When parents are separating or divorcing the children can feel as if their world has been turned upside down. The level of upset the child feels can vary depending on how their parents separated, the age of the child, how much they understand, and the support they get from parents, family and friends.

It is important for the parents to look into finding a resolution as soon as possible to avoid putting the children in the middle. 

The court process it is not normally a good place to start because it is better for the parents to consider settling their dispute through family mediation and negotiate what is best for them and their children’s welfare and upbringing. 

Court it is not always the best place to start the process as it can be extremely difficult and stressful. That is why it is better for the couples to spurn confrontational courtroom battles and look into using Family Mediation first to sort out disputes over their children, finances and property.

Family Mediation is excellent and this collaborative process keeps couples talking through the difficult matters to agree a way forward rather than have one forced upon them in the courts. 

When talking about separating a family, most separating couples want to find the quickest and most affordable way to find resolution? Every couple’s circumstances will be individual to them and it is easier to avoid the court proceeding which is complicated and time consuming.

Family Mediation is led by a trained meditator who uses a fair negotiation process to help the couple reach proposals which both people are prepared to live with, rather than having them dictated. 

This will also safeguard the children’s emotional health and wellbeing and find a quicker resolution with a family mediator that is tailor made to them and their children’s wellbeing at the very core of those arrangements. 

Using mediation is a better platform than going to the court because it will also help soften the impact of the couple’s separation on themselves and their children and do it in the least damaging way for everyone involved, especially children.

Separating parents can resolve arrangements for the children including, where the children will live, how often the children will see the other parent, child maintenance, schooling and education. The children will have the continuity that they still have two parents who love them, and continue to care for them and protect them. 

If both parents consent, the children can also be part of the mediation process if they would like to have their wishes and feelings heard.  

There is no doubt that this period is a stressful time for children but children from separated families can develop and flourish just as well as other children and end up leading normal healthy lives. Their adjustment is enhanced when parents remain sensitive to their needs. 

Their mediation proposals may be made into a legally document if the parents decide to do this by seeking advice from a Family Solicitor if the couple wish to do so at the end of mediation. This enables couples to move forward to a new chapter where they will be living separately but still working together to make sure their children are happy, healthy and thriving. 

Kadan Hassan is an intern and is currently studying for a Qualifying Law Degree at the Open University. The degree is due to complete in June 2018. Kadan is assisting Austin Chessell who is an Accredited Family and Child Mediator at Compass Resolution. Austin is also a Mediation Supervisor (PPC). Austin is based in Angel, Islington and in Hammersmith in offices at North and West London.

If you would like to discuss Family Mediation with Austin his email address is Austin.c@compass-resolution.co.uk and his mobile number is 07920 445832.