This guide is for you if you have recently split up or are struggling to agree with your ex-partner (or another family member) about what’s going to happen to your home, money, children or any other issues.

It doesn’t matter if you were married, in a civil partnership, living together, or never did any of these things.

This guide explains what family mediation is and how it could help you. Before you can take a family issue to court, most people have to show that they have thought about using mediation.

We explain what that is all about, who has to do it, how you do it, and what your other options are.

Agreeing arrangements for the children or how you will divide money or property if your relationship has ended can be very hard. Sometimes, it is just too hard to do by yourselves. Feelings can get in the way and discussions about practical things get lost in the hurt and anger. And when you do manage to discuss them, most people are feeling less reasonable and less fair than usual. It is for all of these reasons that many people find it useful to get some help.

One option is to meet together with your ex and a mediator, who has been properly trained to help you put your feelings aside and focus on the practical issues that need to be sorted out. This is called mediation. The mediator won’t take sides or decide what is fair for you – they are simply there to help your discussions. Mediators don’t give you legal advice but many of them are able to provide lots of legal information because they are also solicitors.

You can use family mediation straight away after deciding to end your relationship or later if you are still having problems.

Other people choose to get a family solicitor to negotiate with their ex for them. Some people can’t agree even with help and take the issue to court so that the court can decide.