I am often told by my mediator colleagues that they find it hard to convert initial mediation enquiries into mediation information and assessment meetings because the ‘other person’ they have to contact, is not interested.
So, let’s look at why this might be the case and what can be done about it. Remember that people have choices and the choices they make at this early stage can make a enormous different to their lives so, get good at these initial calls.
In this article, I use the example of a sales call I recently received. I run a mediation business and recently received a call from the Yellow pages man about advertising with them. He focused on 4 key questions which kept my attention long enough to hear what he had to say and book a better time to speak to him again.
- Who are you?
First, he quickly identified himself very clearly and reassured me that I was not just another customer but a priority account customer whom he had been assigned to look after.
Similarly, as the mediator caller, I quickly reassure the person that although I may have briefly spoken to their partner, mediation is not going to happen unless this person wants to mediate. I do my best to quickly empower them.
- What do you want and is it a convenient time to call?
He quickly explained that he was there to ensure that I was getting the most for my money and did not need any decisions at this stage. He simply wanted to find a more convenient time to explore what was best for me. He was building rapid rapport and connection.
My calls tend to works well when I reassure the person that I want to spend some time with them on their own, to understand the situation from their perspective.
- What’s in this call for me?
I felt that he had my best interests at heart and respected my time. I was beginning to feel more like giving him a minute or two and, more importantly listening to what he had to say.
Once these initial things are established and they understand that I am interested in what they have to say, I often find that the person is very keen to meet to ‘tell me their side of things’
- How much will it cost?
He made it very clear that he was not asking me for money. Well, not at this stage anyway until I had had a chance to get a much better sense of what was being offered and the benefits for me. He took the pressure off.
All this was said with a good pace, not rushed, clearly, politely and with great posture. He gave the impression that he knew that he had something that I would like and was relaxed about whether I took the next step or not. He had great posture.
As a mediator, it is important that the person understands that if they do not qualify for legal aid there will be a cost to the first meeting but it is always best to cover this at the end of the call once you have explained who you are, established rapport, what is being offered and they are motivated to meet you to tell you their side of things.
My attitude is always that I am offering them a fantastic opportunity which could save them £1000’s ! Don’t forget your posture. Don’t try too hard to persuade them. Pull away if you need to. The timing may not be right. They often come back to you..
Read my article explaining why some people never make it into mediation and how this can be avoided.
All this got me thinking again of the purpose of our first mediation calls to the other person.
Is it not, at its simplest, to ensure that you can arrange a more convenient time and place to talk to them about their worries, interests, needs and of course about mediation and its benefits before they and you can decide if mediation is right for them and their circumstances ie to arrange a mediation information and assessment meeting.
John Hind-Director, Compass Resolution Ltd