When your relationship comes to an ends, working with a family mediator offers you and your former partner or spouse an opportunity of working out your child and financial arrangements together, with the minimum professional intervention and cost.

However, it is quite normal for the prospect of co-operating and working together with your former partner in mediation to conjure up all manner of questions and concerns.

The aim of this article which is three parts, is to highlight how you can make the most of the opportunity that mediation provides and ensure a successful outcome for yourselves and your children?

1.     Do your own preparation

There seem to be many differing views in the public domain about what mediation is, what it is not, what it can achieve and so on, much of which is sadly quite wrong. This has and continues to result in many thousands of people every year missing out on the positive opportunities that mediation provides so, it is worth taking your time to carry out your own web research. This is free of charge and there is nothing to lose. Ensure that any perceptions and assumptions you have are correct.

2.     Get information and any reassurances you need directly from your family mediator.

Having carried out your own web research that chances are that you are still likely to have questions and concerns. Typically, you may have concerns about having to co-operate and work with your former partner in the same room, how much support you will get from the mediator and how much it will all cost (it may be free if you qualify for legal aid). These are certainly not unusual questions so talk to a family mediator about how the mediation is managed and whether, for example you and your partner can be in separate rooms if that is what is needed. You will also get a sense about the mediator and whether or not, he or she is someone you relate to and can work with. This should all be free.

3.     Don’t be afraid to give mediation a go

Once you, your former partner or spouse and the mediator are all satisfied that mediation is  suitable, you will not actually know whether it can work for you both until you try it out. The mediator will discuss with you both how to manage the mediation, making it safe and secure for you both and whether, for example you will both be in the same room or different rooms. The cost will be around £80-100 each per hour or free if you qualify for legal aid, so you have everything to gain and not a great deal to lose at this stage, especially if it keeps you out of court and proves to be successful.

To be continued