Why is this so damaging?

Many parents seem unaware or oblivious of the deep rooted and long term damage that continuing unresolved conflict can have on children.

Unfortunately, court proceedings are by definition polarising and divisive process, pitting one parent against the other, one lawyer against the other and one argument against the other, in attempt to win.

Relying on their children’s best interest as motive and reason for court proceedings is rarely useful or persuasive.

In the haze of the court battle many parents lose site of what their children want and need,     and worse still, the children sometimes become pawns in a perpetuating parental power process.

Does this exchange sound familiar;

Billy tells me that he didn’t like the way your new partner shouted at him……..

well, he seemed to get on really well with her, infact they loved riding together………

he wants to see you on your own next time, you need to spend quality time with Billy…..

I will ask Billy what he wants…..

i have asked him and he says that he does.

And so it goes on. What do you think Billy is thinking and feeling about all this?

Is it any wonder that parents feel frustrated and children feel completely stuck in the middle.

One result of all this is that well over half of parents lose complete contact with their children, denying the children the right and opportunity of a relationship with that parent.

Another result is that children end up traumatised and unable in the long term to sustain healthy, positive relationships when they become adults.