How do we CONNECT with our clients
We want our mediators to be two things above all;
- Sincere
- Competent
Why are these two aspects so important?
One of the keys to an effectiveness mediation process is the quality of the relationship/connection between the mediator and clients.
As you can imagine, this is especially important when the relationship between the clients is a difficult one and trust is at a premium.
Sincerity
The clients must trust their mediator. They need to feel that the mediator sincerely and genuinely understands how they are feeling. The mediator must very quickly establish this understanding and build this trust and rapport with both clients. How?
Competent
As well as trusting the mediator, the clients need to believe that the mediator can actually help them, that they are competent to do so. The mediator will need to quickly show how they are going to help and build the clients confidence in them. How?
This early building of trust and confidence in the mediator will be crucial to the success of the mediation process.
Without feeling that the mediator is both sincere and competent, all the mediator’s explanation about process and what they can do to help, may very well be perceived as tedious, superficial or even manipulative!
So, how does the mediator sufficiently connect with clients early on?
If we collected the answers to this question from every client we would probably find two distinct clusters of response.
Cognitive trust builders
One cluster would be fact-based; they connect with mediators who get straight down to business, focus on process and logic, make accurate observations and have something useful to say.
These are the cognitive trust-builders: whose lenses are fact-based, rational and logical.
Affective trust builders
The second cluster are people-based: they connect rapidly with mediators whom they perceive to be genuine, likeable, interested and with whom they perceive that they share values.
These are the affective trust-builders: whose lenses are people-based, intuitive and instinctive.
Combination
In reality, most people possess a blend of each cluster although the vast majority of us have a primary set of lenses: fact-based, or people-based.
You can probably quickly identify your own preference.
It is the mediators task, very early on to identify what type of person they are talking to, including their communication preferences so that they can quickly connect with these preferences, demonstrating their sincerity and competence and creating the rapport needed to work with these differences.
Rapport is a currency that needs to be earned before it can be spent!
How they do this in each case is where the skill lies and is the subject of years of practice, combined with a natural ability and passion for the work. It will also be the subject of future articles.