Do you recall the final episode of ‘The Fall’ on BBC One and particularly the violent assault on the psychiatrist!

You may penetrate a person’s protective self image at your cost so go very carefully when probing their ‘conflict story’.

This is often something that is defended to the hilt. It is a person’s ‘safe haven’, a haven they may have spent many years creating and designing.

This is part of the the rhyme that Paul Spectre told his fellow inmate before he murdered him.

When the sky began to roar it was like a lion at my door
When my door began to crack
It was like a stick across my back
When my back began to smart it was like a penknife in my heart
When my heart began to bleed it was death, death indeed
Paul Spectre – The Fall

He asks the psychiatrist how he might help him to which the psychiatrist replies –
Pay attention wisely to things as they are

Be open, compassionate,  open hearted

See things as they are, the difference between thoughts,  perception and reality

Experience a feeling without necessarily acting on it

All good advice but for Paul Spectre, seemingly impossible. This often requires incredible commitment, practice and determination, especially the last one about experiencing a feeling, such as anger, without reacting.

As mediators we need to work at a level at which we can recognise a person’s ability or not, to collaborate in mediation and be careful to assess whether mediation is suitable or not. It simply not be suitable.
One might conclude that Paul Spectre would not be a suitable candidate for mediation!

You decide.