I have recently mediated a number of Probate disputes, some successful and others not so successful. Here are some of the tips and suggestions I would give anyone seriously about trying to reach agreement and avoid court especially where the dispute is full of emotion.

I give them in bullet points for you to consider. If you want to comment on or discuss any of them with one of our mediators call us.

If you would really like to reach agreement and avoid court please call us.

• Come prepared in practical and emotional terms. This means, among other things, committed to work together to reach an agreement and resolution, acceptable to everyone. The word ‘everyone’ is the key.
• Make sure that as many of the facts and figures involved are agreed, as possible or risk the mediation collapsing over an issue of the figures before you start to look at your different options
• Be prepared to consider different perspectives
• Be ready to manage your emotions
• Be honest and open
• Give each other time to say what is on your minds
• Don’t be too fixed in what you want
• Be ready to explain what you want
• Think about the other people may want
• Decide what is most important and what you are prepared to be flexible about
• Try and agree an approach in principle before you start looking at the figures
• Try to avoid looking at the problem as a rights and entitlement issue. That will be for the Judge to decide if you cannot reach your own agreement in mediation. Instead, focus on finding out what everyone values most and are most interested in. They may be different things.
• Be open to the idea that not everything of value has a monetary value. For example, what would it mean to you, emotionally and psychologically to resolve things so you can move on without this hanging over you? There is usually some value in that !
• Take advice but don’t hide behind it. Think for yourselves as well.
• Be clear about how long court proceedings will take, what they involve and how much they will cost, if you don’t reach agreement in mediation

If you have a dispute about inherited property please consider mediation before it gets out of hand.

Good luck

John Hind LLB.CMC.FMC

Accredited Mediator/Lawyer

Trainer/Coach/NLP practitioner