Between June and September 2013 those people attending a family mediation information and assessment meeting (MIAM) to find out more about mediation, dropped by over a half, from the same period in 2013. Why?

In a recent Guardian interview one commentator attributed this  to the fact that people do not find the case for mediation compelling but is it not the case that they would if they truly understood  mediation and how it could help them?

If people were encourage to find out more about mediation, understand its benefits and even be prepared to give it a go, my experience is that most separating couples would find that the experience is a more positive one than they expected. (I put the case for a compulsory mediation information and assessment meeting in a separate article).

But isn’t that the point. Most people are not aware of or, do not fully understand (or in many cases both) the mediation process and how a well- trained and effective mediator can help them to communicate and sort things out together.

There is therefore much work to be done to raise the positive profile of mediation, encouraging people in the first instance to simply  find out more. When the initial enquiry is made, the rest is down to the mediator to address the common emotional and psychological barriers which many people have when considering what they think the mediation process involves and offers.

The key messages and marketing language has to be right and mediators need to skilled at turning enquiries into mediations. I believe that there is quite a bit of training that needs to be done here. Professor Liz Stokoe at Loughborough University is certainly doing her bit regarding the initial telephone conversation, with her CARM training project, and there are a number of other good courses around.

Mediation is an art as well as a science and, rather like music, improves with practice. As a musician I think that my music teacher would have laughed at me had I complained that I was not improving if I only practiced once a week , once a month or perhaps even only a few times a year!

The other point is that mediators have for far too long relied on family solicitors to refer work to them. Why should solicitors refer to mediators when many solicitors believe that they can serve the clients equally well around a negotiating table and of course, like family mediators, they need the work now more than ever. The commercial imperative will always have an important role to play when it comes to referring.

I believe that the answer to all this is compulsory attendance at a mediation information meeting, if this is what is needed to ensure that people are given the best opportunity to have mediation explained by an expert in the subject before they decide whether mediation is right for them and their family.

In a separate article I compare the imperative for this, to the imperative for the road traffic awareness courses that have been successfully run for years.

If a decision to mediate is coupled with a robust mediation process, supported by a professional family team solving approach where family solicitors and mediators do not see each other as competition but work together as part of a client focussed inter-disciplinary team in support of the mediation process, I believe that many more mediations would be successful and the reputation of mediation would improve dramatically. This would also produce plenty of work for mediators and solicitors and, most importantly, best serve the needs of separating couples and their families.

So let’s stop complaining and looking for others to resolve the problem and get on and find new ways of working together in the best interest of our clients and not ourselves.